mental link // S72

[servitor]

DIASPEIREIN To scatter, spread about.	MELIORISM The belief that the world gets better.
ORIFLAMME A symbol or standard that inspires confidence, devotion, or courage.	VANGUARD The troops moving at the head of an army.

( CODE BY WHAMBAM )

Comments

bruh

[servitor]

[He scoffs lightly, glancing down to the ground, to the pristine walkways between dirt and flowers and plants.]

Yeah. Me too.

[Nyx settles now to sit next to him, though he faces the opposite direction. It's not that he's feeling sorry for himself. It's that it's hard to find what's next when the next has been put off indefinitely. The only next is to survive to get to the other next.]

I wish I could tell you what to do, I really do. But I can't do that for you. Sometimes you really are just nothing compared to what's coming. [It's what he thinks of himself, at least, in the grand scheme of things. Nyx saw himself as a piece to get everything going in the right direction. There had never been any notions of destiny, only duty to the next generation, and the one after that.] Strength isn't in how well you hold on to your emotions. Strength is in what you do after those emotions fall.

[Nyx lets his head hang back. The grief washes over him for a few moments. It's one of the things he had used too. He fought to never feel helpless. He fights to protect those who can't protect themselves. And now he fights to make sure there's a future to get back to.]

Make your own destiny, Noctis. It's all you've got here. That destiny you're talking about? It'll be there when you get back. Right now? You've got all of this at your feet. You can keep using that loss, but don't let it eat you up. It's going to take you places you don't want to go. [Now he actually glances over to Noctis.] And you're going to lose yourself.

[He's seen it, too many times. In the eyes of his comrades. In the eyes of the people he's saved. In the refugees piling into lines to get into the city. In the people denied entrance for some arbitrary reason. Beyond the walls of Insomnia is a world full of hurt and people falling into the hurt because it was the easy way out.]

Don't be something you're not. No one cares if you're a king or a beggar here. Just do your job. We'll get through it. I promise we will.

look

[somnifacient]

[He laces his hands together, to stop the fidgeting. Fingertips brush against the cool surface of the Ring as he takes in everything that Nyx has to say, letting grief wash over grief. He doesn't try to keep it at bay; it laughably feels a bit like of a default state to him, right now.

Making his own destiny here, is that what it would come down to? Ripping himself away, even if only temporarily, of what the Astrals had written for him. It felt wrong, though he hates to admit it to himself -- he knows that he's just a plaything of a prophecy, and that he should celebrate the reprieve from carrying its weight.

But tell that to the guilt, threatening to override this sense of freedom. His duty, torn asunder, screaming at him, What about Eos? What of the world in darkness? Of all your friends? All the ones you've lost? You've left them, abandoned them. For what? You can't save anyone here. You don't even know what you're doing.

Noctis closes his eyes, biting all of this back.]

Don't make promises you can't keep, Nyx.

[Cynicism bleeds out, sharp at the edges. It always does, when he's like this.]

But I'll try. [Silence again, before he turns his head just enough to look at the Glaive next to him.] If my title doesn't mean anything here, then yours shouldn't either.

[He's not disparaging. He's offering a release of responsibility, if Nyx wants it. He doesn't know if he would or not.] I appreciate you talking to me, but you're not obligated. It's like you said, we're just two people trying to do our jobs. You have enough to worry about as it is, than to come out here, making sure your King isn't falling apart.

[servitor]

[It's a dire moment but he's trying hard to hold back the bark of a laugh that wants to escape his throat. Yeah, everything sucks. Everything's brutal. They've been taken from everything time and again, and for Nyx, he's constantly reminded that he wouldn't amount to much after the war.

Still. He soldiers on.]

You ever think I came out here to check up on a teammate? Check up on a friend?

[somnifacient]

[That... isn't expected. Maybe it should be, with how much Noctis refuses to be treated special, to be treated like the royalty that he is. What irony is it, then, that he assumes Nyx only comes here out of some sense of obligation, some permanent shred of duty that'll never fade?]

Friend, huh...

[He's silent, but surprise and gratitude radiates outward. A singular warmth in a flood of grief and sadness.

Noctis is bold enough to give Nyx a little nudge with his elbow, grinning weakly despite himself.]

You're just trying to soften me up for running more laps in the morning.

[servitor]

[The assumption wouldn't be wrong. He is honor-bound and duty-bound through and through.

But it's more of a personal need to make sure he's doing okay, as opposed to anything else. They do need to have clear minds for the missions, sure, but in the end, Nyx is genuinely worried. He'd go out of his way for anyone.

He gently pushes back, with a tiny smirk.]

Caught me red-handed.

[somnifacient]

[A small, breathless "heh" escapes him, and he returns his gaze to nothing in particular -- the gardens, stretching out before him.]

Well... even if that's the case, thanks.

[The sense of loss is great, and Nyx's reassurances are small, yet still exponentially better than not having anything at all. At having no one here to worry for him.

There's a small amount of comfort to be taken in that.]

...For looking out. I'll try to return the favor.

[servitor]

Put it on my tab. We'll talk about owing later.

[Not that he ever cashes out, or forces anyone to pay up. Not his style.]

I know how this is going to sound, but you'll be okay. Not because we have to be. Just because I don't think you'd give in.

[somnifacient]

[A long inhale, a long exhale through his nose. For what it was worth, Nyx was right. He had to be.

Noctis straightens in his seat, nodding.]

You're right.

[Sorrow and loss are not so easily swept under the rug, but he'll not find himself tripping over it again and again. The memories of his broodmares were worth more than a weight chained to his ankles, holding him back.]

...On the tab it is, then.

close it up here?

[servitor]

[He sighs lightly. Maybe one day they'll all come to terms that their lives are nothing but misery and loss. Until then? There's only the future and those who are still alive.]

Let me know if you ever need anything. We're in this together, until the end.